15 Books For Recovering From Christian Purity Culture

As someone who grew up in the evangelical church in the 90s, my early understanding of sexuality centered around delayed gratification. Wait for sex until marriage, and God will provide a great husband, and hey, even the sex will be better (and of course, marriage could only be heterosexual).

Rejecting purity culture sounds simple, but it can take time and unwinding of your former worldview. Personally, the residual effects of purity culture continue to plague me, because it was never just about abstinence, but for women, about keeping your body covered, and for anyone who read I Kissed Dating Goodbye, also about restraint in kissing, hand-holding, even being alone with a love interest.

The books below come from a range of voices and experiences, some specifically addressing Christian purity culture, others more broadly discussing sex from an academic, journalistic, memoir, or anthropological perspective. They are loosely ordered by level of conservatism so if you are very far along in your deconstruction, you might skip to the end.

Do you have a favorite not listed here? Tell me on Twitter: @danifankhauser.

Continue reading “15 Books For Recovering From Christian Purity Culture”

True Love No Shame: Talking about consent with Jamie DeWolf of Tourettes Without Regrets

On this week’s episode, I spoke with Jamie DeWolf, founder of Tourettes Without Regrets, an underground performance art show in Oakland. The show has a few simple rules, one of which relates to consent, an issue our culture at large is slowly but surely beginning to grapple with.

You can listen to our conversation in full on iTunes or Stitcher, or read the edited version below. Continue reading “True Love No Shame: Talking about consent with Jamie DeWolf of Tourettes Without Regrets”

True Love No Shame: Talking about Christian purity culture with No Shame Movement

Today’s episode of True Love No Shame is with Laura, the creator of No Shame Movement, which started as a hashtag and now has a dedicated site aimed at discussing purity culture. I spoke with Laura, the woman who started and now runs the movement.

You can listen to our conversation in full on iTunes or Stitcher, or read the edited version below. Continue reading “True Love No Shame: Talking about Christian purity culture with No Shame Movement”

True Love No Shame: Talking about love with Christina Weber of Underground Unattached

For this episode of True Love No Shame, I spoke with Christina Weber, creator of Underground Unattached, a curated dating experience. I wanted to bring her insight on this podcast was because based on her work she has a lot to share about how to do relationships and how to do them well.

You can listen to our conversation in full on iTunes or Stitcher, or read the edited version below. Continue reading “True Love No Shame: Talking about love with Christina Weber of Underground Unattached”

True Love No Shame: Talking about new perspectives on abortion with filmmaker Asha Dahya

For the fifth episode of True Love No Shame, I talked with Asha Dahya. We actually met through a Facebook group of former Christian conservatives. She’s working on this amazing documentary series project that’s about abortion.

You can listen to our conversation in full on iTunes or Stitcher, or read the edited version below. Continue reading “True Love No Shame: Talking about new perspectives on abortion with filmmaker Asha Dahya”

True Love No Shame: Talking about intimacy and shame with Tina Schermer Sellers, author of Sex, God, and the Conservative Church

For the fourth episode of True Love No Shame, I spoke with Tina Schermer Sellers, author of Sex, God, and the Conservative Church: Erasing Shame From Sexual Intimacy. She’s also founder of the online community Thank God for Sex and the Northwest Institute on Intimacy. I came across Tina’s 2006 article actually just very recently. I wish I had found it earlier. Christians Caught Between the Sheets: How Abstinence Only Ideology Hurts Us.

You can listen to our conversation in full on iTunes or Stitcher, or read the edited version below. Continue reading “True Love No Shame: Talking about intimacy and shame with Tina Schermer Sellers, author of Sex, God, and the Conservative Church”

True Love No Shame: Talking about Good Christian Sex with Bromleigh McCleneghan

For my second episode on True Love No Shame, I spoke with pastor and author Bromleigh McCleneghan, who wrote Good Christian Sex: Why Chastity Isn’t the Only Option and Other Things the Bible Says About Sex.

You can listen to our conversation in full on iTunes or Stitcher, or read the edited version below. Continue reading “True Love No Shame: Talking about Good Christian Sex with Bromleigh McCleneghan”

The 10 People You Should Have Sex With Before You Get Married

When I decided to stop waiting until I was married to have sex, at age 26, I was faced with a question: If not only my future husband, who should I have sex with? Where do I draw the line, when I don’t have a black-and-white rule that’s wrapped up in a legal process?

It’s a question everyone has to answer, no matter their background or morals. I’ve learned that relying on external rules and advice only goes so far in protecting you, and to experience true intimacy, you have to experiment to find out what you like and don’t like, and what is right for you. Personally, I didn’t know how to recognize a good partner until I dated and slept with a few bad ones. Continue reading “The 10 People You Should Have Sex With Before You Get Married”

True Love No Shame: Talking about inclusivity with Amy Boyajian from Wild Flower

For the first episode of True Love No Shame, I interviewed Amy Boyajian, founder of Wild Flower, a sexual wellness store.

Amy and I share a lot of the same goals in destigmatizing sex and she has an amazing background in sex education.

You can listen to our conversation in full on iTunes or Stitcher, or read the edited version below. Continue reading “True Love No Shame: Talking about inclusivity with Amy Boyajian from Wild Flower”