Growing up in an evangelical church, I was sure premarital sex was the unforgivable sin. Someone who lies can come clean, and someone who kills can repent, but if you’re not a virgin on your wedding day, you can never go back and fix it.
When I took Bible classes at my Christian college, I was surprised to find that the Bible wasn’t so clear on this topic. In fact, the Bible never says sex before marriage is a sin.
But as a single Christian woman, that alone didn’t grant me permission to start having sex. It was when my faith deepened and I discovered a God who is genuinely loving. Shame separates us from God, not our actions. Christianity is built on unconditional love, not good morals.
Check out these perspectives from other Christians who have rejected the idea that premarital sex is wrong.
Most sites and sources I have found say that verses prohibiting “sexual immorality” are talking about sex before marriage, but the argument here is circular. What is sexual immorality? Sex before marriage. Why is sex before marriage immoral? Because the Bible prohibits sexual immorality.
– Dr. Jerry Walls on Seedbed
In an attempt to justify what is believed to be common knowledge, we are pulling at any verse that has an inkling of resemblance to premarital sex. We are using these verses, devoid of their context and circumstance, in order to justify a belief that does not have much merit.
– Natalie Elliott on The Echo
Christ’s teachings at the Sermon on the Mount were that the only law is the law of love. He showed this by reversing four of the Old Testament laws which conflicted with loving people.
– Charles Toy on The Christian Left Blog
What might separate many of us from God is not the way in which we’re living but rather our churches misguided moralistic teachings. This was a way of thinking that demonized sexuality, not just homosexuality, but anything having to do with sexuality that fell outside the confines of marriage.
– Andy Gill on Patheos